Welcome to the first eva issue of TWYN,First off - thank you for being here - it means the world to me. I’ve been noodling (a very long 2+ year noodle lol) about having some kind of medium to share more about the journey I’m on. This was actually going to take the form of a podcast but while I am obsessed with audio, writing has always been my first love. My story in a v tiny nutshell… For those of you who I haven’t yet crossed paths with - welcome - the Coles notes version of my story is this: I worked in banking for over a decade (12 years to be exact) and quit my corporate job in 2019 to pursue my creative passions full-time. I was lucky to have started moonlighting as a DJ while working my very button-up 9-5 job as a Public Affairs Manager because it made the transition (financially) a lot easier. While I always dreamed and believed I’d be my own boss, the decision to finally quit was driven by recurring mental health challenges - specifically debilitating anxiety (formally diagnosed in 2014 with Generalized Anxiety Disorder) and feelings of depression. Since my diagnosis I felt naturally drawn to try out various therapeutic modalities - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, talk therapy and most recently psychotherapy. It wasn’t until I started working with a trauma-informed psychotherapist that I began to see how trauma was at the root of many personal challenges. During this time I also began to ask a lot of questions about life in general lol. For context - I grew up in a Roman Catholic home and both my parents immigrated to Canada from Italy. It was during this time of self-exploration I began to see how much of my early conditioning and experiences led to emotional repression (I was an extremely quiet kid), and influenced my ability to become fully expressed as a woman and human. Learning and unlearning these patterns is something I continue to work on. And for the record - I love my parents dearly (and pretty sure my mom is reading this - hi mom <3) and I know they did the best they could with what they knew at the time. New beginnings With the pandemic impacting nearly all of my work, I took this time to continue turning inward. Along with psychotherapy, I started working with a shadow integration coach and a sex coach and this combination of support was truly life changing (I’ll share more about these learnings in coming issues). This support helped me unravel blocks in exploring my femininity, relationship with pleasure, and ultimately helped me return to myself. This period of time also helped me get clear on specific areas I was deeply passionate about: expression, trauma and the mind-body connection. Fast forward to earlier this year, I made the decision to enrol in a Trauma Certificate program at Wilfrid Laurier University, and found my way into a couple of programs in therapeutic expressive arts at the CREATE Institute. Through these programs I’ve realized the significant impact and importance of a happy and regulated nervous system. In fact, I believe a happy and regulated nervous system is at the centre of well-being and human flourishing. A lil about what you can expect here ‘Take What You Need’ (TWYN) has been and continues to be a core guiding principle in my life. I’m not here to force any ideas onto you. TWYN to me represents discernment. A state of listening but also asking yourself whether this might be true for you and whether this information might help you at this time. This newsletter will share learnings and teachings that have resonated, and things that I feel might be helpful to one on a similar journey of self-discovery, expression and healing. Some things I share might be triggering, and I invite you to take notice when they are. If you find yourself feeling a lil extra spicy and activated, I invite you to get curious with yourself instead of opening yourself up to judgement. A quick question I find helpful is “What might this feeling/reaction/sensation be telling me?” When we are triggered I find it is most helpful to observe it from a perspective of needing more info. A quick learning in empathy fatigue + self-compassion On Monday I participated in a workshop on secondary trauma, self-compassion and empathy fatigue. When you are a caring person (and/or caregiver/helping professional), and neglect the care you give yourself, there become limits on the care you can extend to others. And when this happens for a long enough time, it can become difficult to care anymore. This is called empathy fatigue. Have you ever said to yourself “I just don’t have it in me to care anymore/right now"? I know I have and it’s kinda scary. However, we can avoid getting to this point of exhaustion when we become aware of our warning signs. I know for me when I begin to feel irritable, withdraw emotionally and turn to distraction (usually aimless scrolling on social media) it means I need “Bianca time” ASAP. This might mean unplugging for a few hours, doing some yin yoga, dancing - anything that fills my cup. When we experience empathy fatigue we might default to thinking “Ugh what’s wrong with me?” and if we do, the more loving + kind question to ask ourselves is: “What happened to me?” and “How might that impact me?” By asking these questions we might realize that we overextended ourselves and perhaps that cut into v necessary personal recharge time. Pursuing trauma in school has been quite fascinating because a lot of what is being taught is through the lens of helping professionals - social workers, therapists, counsellors etc. (and every time I have to introduce myself it is a whole imposter syndrome spectacle in itself but more on that another time lol). However, why I’m especially interested in this subject is because I believe so much of this information can translate to helping us thrive in our everyday lives and can be extended beyond the care in clinical settings. You made it to the end (almost)… OK full disclosure, I don’t have a complete 3 or 5-year plan for this newsletter lol… and that’s alright with me. I feel like so many of us wait until we’re “ready”or have a “complete” plan before we birth things into this world, and while I’m not one to rush things, I personally like things a lil raw, a lil edgy and unpolished - it feels more human. And this is what I hope this newsletter to be. Thank you again for being here. See you next week :) Much love, B P.S. I would love to hear from you.
Hit reply and tell me a little about where you’re at in your personal journey, or if you have any Qs and/or comments.
If you’d like to connect outside of this space, you can find me here and here.
Finally, if you want to help support my journey, I’d love for you to share this newsletter with someone you think might benefit from it <3
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