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Greetings*, I hope you’re having a pleasant start to the week. Yesterday I decided to roast some nuts. I don’t know why but nuts just taste 1000000% better when they’re roasted and I actually feel inclined to eat them when they are. One thing to know about me - I am a pretty novice cook. Anytime someone finds out my sister is a chef they automatically assume that I’m also a good cook which is a horrible assumption. It was only last year when I was dealing with some hormonal imbalances that my cooking skills were put to the test (thanks to some v specific recipes my hormone coach gave me). But that is a story for another day. Back to the nuts. I decided to roast some pecans and some almonds. These are two of my favourite roasted nuts. I set the oven to 350 degrees and popped ‘em in. I only have experience roasting almonds, but I thought ‘meh - all nuts are the same right?’ so I set the timer for about 15 minutes - which is what I usually do for almonds - and waited (I don’t know why but anyone else remember that “set it and forget it” informercial?! - that haunting vision just came to mind lolol). As I was waiting, I started to smell a tinge of charr but thought maybe this is what pecans smell like when they roast… Nope. My timer goes off and you guessed it - the pecans are totally burnt, while the almonds were perfectly toasted. I had a moment of grief for my beloved pecans, but then a thought struck me: Not all things are created the same. What works for one thing/person might not work for another. And there’s an actual term for this: bio-individuality. What is bio-individuality? Bio-individuality is a term developed by Joshua Rosenthal, founder of the Institute for Integrative Nutrition (IIN) in New York. Bio-individuality means there is not a one-size-fits-all approach to health, and each individual body will differ in their needs as a result of external and internal factors like the foods we eat, our emotional thoughts, lifestyle patterns, and our surrounding physical environment. If you’re interested in learning more - this is a great article that goes into the concept in a bit more depth. While this concept was developed in the health and nutrition world, I believe it spans much wider. Bio-individuality in our every day The way we live, approach and experience life is bio-individual. Things that feel good to you (and conversely - things that make you feel like crap) are connected to your individuality. In trauma school we learned that there is no one “best” way or method to heal trauma. In fact, practitioners often need to use various modalities to help a client process and integrate their trauma. What’s more - a lot of clinical trauma-related work is experimental because everyone’s mind and body responds differently to various practices based on their lived experiences. When I think about my own experience of reclaiming myself, learning about anxiety and processing trauma, I wholeheartedly stand behind the concept of bio-individuality. While I am no where near “healed” (in fact I believe it’s a lifelong journey) I have experimented with a crap ton of helpful therapeutic modalities like… …and more. And then there have been modalities that have simply not worked for me. One very popular and respected method - breathwork - just doesn’t agree with my body. I’ve tried it multiple times with various practitioners and each time I either felt way worse or no better than I had been previously. Same goes with microdosing psilocybin - I feel like 98% of people’s experiences have been super positive, and my experience was the very opposite. Can you relate? Are there therapeutic modalities that have worked/not worked for you? Hit reply and let me know. Starting a journey of self-exploration When it comes to getting to know oneself more deeply - I am a huge proponent of taking an experimental approach. Or perhaps we call it a bio-individual approach. And this is also why I’ve always felt deep resistance towards any “guru” who tries to convince the world that their method will 10000000% change your life. It might. And it might not. What works for one person might not work for another. I remember when the 5am club was super poppin’ and all these big tech founders/corporate leaders were preaching its benefits. I tried it and immediately knew it did not resonate with me. My body was like ‘WTF are you on….?!’ And then proceeded to shut down at 1pm. It literally went on strike lol. Joking aside, there is nothing wrong with any of these approaches - the 5am clubs, the manifest-your-wildest-dreams methods, the productivity biohacks - what I take issue with is when we are made to feel like they should work and thus feel shame/are shamed for this. Fun aside: When it comes to nutrition - there is actual science that backs up the fact that approaching diet with bio-individuality in mind is actually more effective in fighting disease. Cultivating curiosity + intention When we approach inner exploration with curiosity instead of an absolutist mindset aka “right or wrong” or “good or bad” we can: Become much more compassionate to ourselves Mitigate the pressure that we need to get it right on the first try
What I might suggest to anyone who is curious to do a lil self-exploration is to begin by identifying one thing: your intention. What is an intention? An intention is a commitment to yourself. In contrast to a goal which is focused on doing and achievement, an intention is connected to who you want to be and how you wish to show up. It is more connected to a feeling than it is about metrics. When can setting an intention be helpful? On a daily basis (I do this during my yin yoga sequence in the morning) When you’re looking to hire a therapist At the start of a meeting Before jumping into a bath When you’re looking to do some self-exploration
And this list is no where near exhaustive - setting an intention is helpful any time you want to feel more connected to yourself. Setting an intention also serves as a bit of direction (think like a map or compass) and having that direction makes it more likely for you to achieve a desired outcome. That being said, it’s not impossible to do inner work without an intention. If one day you’re feeling the sudden urge to journal about your childhood arch nemesis, go for it. We are looking for practice not perfection here. How can one go about setting an intention? If you are looking to set an intention, some questions you might ask yourself: What is important to you? What would you like to nurture in your life? What would you like to let go of? Who would you like to forgive in your life? How do you feel when you are your most favourite self? What makes you feel proud? What word(s) would you like to align yourself with? What fears would you like to release? What are your wildest dreams?
Note: Questions above are inspired by some of the ones in this article. Depending on what you’d like to focus on, and once you have a bit more clarity on the above, you can move to create an intention. Some examples of intentions are: I intend to forgive myself and others I intend to find better harmony and balance in my life I intend to feel better physically and mentally I intend to make wellness a more important part of my lifestyle I intend to allow myself to be vulnerable with loved ones I intend to self-source happiness I intend to make more time for pleasure I intend to connect with individuals who are on a similar spiritual journey I intend to accept myself unconditionally I intend to step into the courage to lead others fearlessly
Today, intentionality plays a significant role in our lives. The pandemic has not only (unfortunately) forced people out of jobs, but has also given people space to reflect on their commitment to life in general… and there are wild stats to back that up… Last year, more than 40% of people who responded to Microsoft’s Work Trend Index survey (a global survey of over 30,000 people in over 30 countries) said they were thinking about leaving their employers. And there is a legit term called the Great Resignation floating around the interwebs. It’s also bringing people to reflect on the big questions - i.e. the meaning of life, purpose, etc. We are truly going through some kind of collective awakening and I’m here for all of it. BTW - if you’re looking for a stunning read on inner reflections from the pandemic, check out this New York Times piece (and bring some tissues lol… don’t say I didn’t warn you!) So where do we go from here? Well, first off - the next time someone tries to convince you that their product or service will absolutely help you, remember that your makeup and lived experience as a human is highly unique and complex - and while one person’s product/diet/lifestyle might have helped them, it might not help you. And this is OK. It can be hard to tap into a lens of discernment when we are constantly bombarded with new trends and information on social media - it feels like if Kim Kardashian is doing/wearing something, then everyone needs to do it. (Is Kim K still relevant? Lol I feel so out of touch some days). But joking aside, taking a simple moment to reflect on the question “is this true for me?” can help connect back to what’s true for us. When we can approach things with a ‘take what you need’ mentality and experiment with what feels good to us, we can find the peace we need amidst a very noisy world. Have a beautiful week y’all and don’t forget to check on yer nuts! Much love, B *I dunno about you but I picture a spunky lil alien saying this lol P.S. I would love to hear from you.
Hit reply and tell me what might have resonated.
If you’d like to connect outside of this space, you can find me here and here.
Finally, if you want to help support my journey, I’d love for you to share this newsletter with someone you think might benefit from it <3
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