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Hello :) Happy June. We’ve officially made it to the half-way point of the year and TBH it’s felt like a huge blur to me lol. How has the first half of 2022 felt to you? I invite you to take a moment to pause and reflect - is there a word or phrase that captures the first part of 2022 for you? I would love to know if you’re willing to share - you can simply hit reply to this email :) Welcome, new friends! There are some new faces receiving this newsletter and I want to welcome you and thank you for being here <3 Take What You Need (TWYN) has been and continues to be a core guiding principle in my life. I’m not here to force any ideas on you - you truly are the expert of your life. To me, “taking what you need” represents discernment. A state of listening but also asking yourself whether this might be true for you and whether this information might support you in any way. This newsletter will share learnings and teachings from school (namely studies in trauma, sound therapy and expressive arts), work and life (let’s be real - mainly therapy lolol), and things that I feel might be helpful to one on a similar journey of self-exploration, expression and healing. If you enjoy this newsletter, and wish to check out previous issues you can do so here! And a note to everyone - you will be receiving this newsletter now on the first Wednesday of each month :) 2022 in a nutshell (so far) As I reflect on 2022, it’s been A LOT. Can I use “A LOT” as my word?! LOL. Joking aside, I would say two words that come to mind for me are preparation and expansion. Between adult learning (aka going back to school), sudden leg surgery, grieving the sudden death of a friend, the pandemic… just to name a few… 2022 has been real. While the events I’ve experienced have been stressful, challenging AF and devastating, I also feel like there’s deeper meaning - especially in preparing me as I embark on this new journey focused on supporting others through change. Anyway, I can honestly say I am seeing the light at the end of this long ass tunnel, and am finally feeling a sense of hopefulness. Celebrating a few important milestones over the last month It has always been difficult for me to share milestones, accomplishments, “wins” etc. however I am trying to explore and embrace this because I believe when we do this, we give others the reminder and permission to do the same. And let’s be real, we need more celebratory energy in this wild world. So, a few big things happened over the last month: I completed the trauma studies program at Wilfrid Laurier University!!! (and as an adult… yep I am turning 35 this September!!) I completed the sound therapy program through the Institute of Traditional Medicine!!! I facilitated my first ever (sold out!!) IRL sound experience as a certified sound therapy practitioner and trauma-informed facilitator!!
And I am feeling really excited about this all…as you could probably tell by my aggressive use of exclamation marks hehe. This feeling is something I haven’t felt in a long time (probably since I started DJing while working a 9-5 job about 6 years ago!), so I am celebrating every moment of it. Life is not linear I was recently chatting with a friend who asked how I was feeling about school being out. My initial response was “I’m so excited to dive into this work!” She was both happy and surprised for me, mentioning that so often individuals might feel a little lost after completing school. Then I took a second to reflect. And in fact, I actually don’t know what things are EXACTLY going to look for me and this new path, and I’m embracing this. So often we are encouraged (edit: pressured) to have linear progression plans, rigid roadmaps, you name it, and I’m here to say I’m over it. I remember when I worked in my corporate job, there were a couple times of year I dreaded most - the mid-year and year-end meeting with my manager. At these meetings I’d be asked questions like: So what role are you thinking to apply to next? What are your career plans at TD? Do you see yourself in a leadership position? (And when the answer was no, feeling awful for not having grander ambitions) What’s your 5-year plan?
I hated it. (Note: I rarely use this word) In these meetings, 1) I felt like I was never enough and 2) it reminded me how climbing the corporate ladder was very real, and not for me. So when I quit my corporate job in 2019 to pursue my creative work, I found myself resisting the stifling ideology to have a concrete plan and instead moved in a different direction - giving myself permission and space to feel into my next steps and with more flexibility and trust in my greater plan here on Earth. This felt much more aligned to my natural Type B personality (btw - I need to do an entire issue on Type B personalities… we defs do not get the credit we deserve) and worked well until the pandemic hit… a mere 10 months later. All of my live event work (95% of my biz) was suddenly on hold for the foreseeable future and I was left feeling extremely anxious. Learning to wiggle During this chaotic time, a friend of mine serendipitously introduced me to a philosopher named Alan Watts - and his work was exactly what I needed. Alan Watts was an English philosopher who is most commonly known as being one of the first people to interpret Eastern wisdom for a Western audience. I really enjoy his lectures because they’re both deep and light at the same time, and something about the way he views the world has helped me take things a lil less seriously (which is so necessary because I can be v serious!!). One of his particular lectures, called the Pursuit of Pleasure really stuck out to me. A couple core lessons I loved: The first principle in the art of pleasure - you mustn’t take anything too seriously. We must embrace the flow of life, and we can do this when we wiggle (aka live more flexibly). When we wiggle, we are better able to receive and accept life.
There was a hilarious analogy in this lecture where he talks about how we’re taught that life is serious, and he presents a world where we levity might be embraced… giving the example of going into a bank and seeing the bank tellers singing. It was such a fitting example because I quite literally spent 12 years working at a bank and this would have made things a lot more fun! But I digress… What I really enjoy about his teachings is his commitment to living more fluidly and flexibly, and less in absolutes. One of my fave parts in this lecture is when he shares what he feels could help someone live more happily: “We are seemingly looking for solids. For something on which I can take my stand, for a firm foundation, for the rock of ages… for the ground of being. But we are not living in that sort of universe. We are living in a fluid universe, in which the art of faith is not in taking one’s stand but in learning to swim. You don’t cling to or try to stand on water; by breathing and by a certain relaxation you learn to trust the water to support you.”
For me, I love this reminder of embracing life with trust, flexibility and ease. Now, when I find myself in challenging experiences I try my best to defer to this idea of trust, and will often ask myself: If you’re interested in listening to Alan Watts’ lecture on pleasure - I’ve uploaded it here (and recommend starting at about 10:30). Making sense of the wiggles On the topic of trust, it was the summer of 2020 when I received an email from a couple of highschool students. They were organizing a TEDxYouth talk at their school on the topic of “finding your passion”. The students found my story online - how I quit a decade-long career in finance to pursue my passion of DJing full-time - and thought I would be a fitting addition to the event. I can safely say the universe had my back because this project anchored me for most of 2020. Why? Writing, practicing for and delivering a TEDx talk is A LOT of work lol. I decided to use the inspiration from Alan Watts to shape the theme of my talk, which is called Dare to Dance With Life. Reflecting back, a few of the core points I share in the talk resonate just as deeply today, things like: Experimenting is an important way to discover what you truly love (this is what brought me to DJing in the first place, and later in finding my niche specializing in corporate events) Immersing yourself in environments that inspire you can help you feel more alive and inspire new opportunities We are often taught to follow a linear path in life, and while this can feel safer and more comfortable because others are doing it, it might not feel true to us
To sum it up - living with a degree of flexibility and a hefty dose of curiosity is something I feel can be helpful if you’re feeling stuck in any area of life. When we are so fixated on having rigid life plans we can often miss the opportunities (and signs) the universe may be sending us. Whether they are ones we pursue are up to us, but we cannot wiggle if we do not allow ourselves the space to do so. Have a beautiful week, and see you next month. Much love, B P.S. I would love to hear from you.
Hit reply and tell me what might have resonated.
If you’d like to connect outside of this space, you can find me here and here.
Finally, if you want to help support my journey, I’d love for you to share this newsletter with someone you think might benefit from it <3
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