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Hello and happy Wednesday, I would love to invite you to take a breath wherever you are right now and take this opportunity to connect with how you’re feeling. So often we’re rushing around to get to the next meeting, appointment, task, and neglect the most important person behind getting all that ish done. And when that repeatedly happens, we can become quite disconnected from what our body, mind and soul needs to thrive. It’s been a full week for me and I’m feeling it in my body and energy levels - I just completed an 8-week Therapeutic Expressive Arts program focused on trauma, DJ work has been making a return and I spent the weekend helping out at the epic Toronto Art Crawl. There was one standout moment for me in all this, and it connects back to last week’s newsletter on transitions. I DJ every Friday night at the Broadview Hotel (which is a literal dream gig for me), and this is how the last few Fridays have been going… 8:00amish: Wake up (depending on how many times I hit snooze lol) 8:00-9:30am: Morning ritual (see more below) 9:30am-10am: Clean up and tend to my fur children 10am - 11:30am: Who the hell knows lol 11:30am: Leave just enough time to walk to gym class 12:00pm-1:00pm: Gym class 1:00pm: Rush home 2:00pm - 7:00pm: Shower, cook, try to get through to-do list, prep music, play with bunnies 7:00/7:15pm: Get ready 8:00pm: Tornado around apartment trying to get my life together aka get equipment ready, clean and feed bunnies, make sure I have everything in my bags 8:25pm: Call Uber (or Lyft… whichever is cheaper) 8:52pm: Arrive at Broadview Hotel 9:00pm: Show time
This final window of time gives me about 8 minutes to set up, and while I can get it done in time, I’m often left feeling overwhelmed and how else can I put it…like shit lol. Last Friday though, I felt the urge to experiment… I thought - what if I swapped a remote workout for one at home? What if I took extra time to get ready instead of feeling like I needed to get through more of my to-do list? And what would happen if I gave myself an extra 10 minutes to actually leave the house? And let me tell you - it was transformational... I ended up getting to work at 8:42pm - giving me just over 15 minutes to set up, settle in, and even run to the washroom to snap a few selfies before my set. I don’t know if it was because I didn’t start my DJ set feeling rushed, but there was a noticeable difference in how I felt throughout the evening. Often I will feel pangs of anxiety when I DJ - this is usually when I’m feeling tired, haven’t drank enough water, or when I’m overstimulated. But Friday - I felt a sense of ease throughout my entire set - and to my surprise I was anxiety-free. All this to say, it gives me hope to try this whole no-rushing thing again - to see whether it truly has a lasting impact on how I feel. The science behind rushing While I’m all about storytelling, I also want to unpack what it means to rush from a scientific POV. When we rush, we trigger our stress response - which is linked to our sympathetic nervous system - also known as our fight or flight response. When we are in this stressful state, our body is responding as though it is responding to actual physical harm or danger. Our nervous system hasn’t actually evolved to understand the demands of the modern world - i.e. blurred boundaries, being available 24/7, the access people have to our lives, rushing to get to appointments and meetings, etc. and so when our stress response is triggered, it literally responds in the same way it would if a saber-tooth tiger was chasing us (apparently this is what danger looked like eons ago). The nervous system cannot tell the difference between various stressful situations - all it knows how to do is it’s core function which is to keep us alive. So back to rushing - when we rush it fires up our fight or flight response - and our bodies begin to produce adrenaline and cortisol (the stress hormones) to defeat this modern day saber-tooth tiger. Too much of these stress hormones too frequently is what can lead to chronic stress, and long term effects of this are often anxiety, depression, digestive problems, headaches, and more. Highly sensitive people (HSP) and rushing What’s more - if you’re a HSP (*raises hand*) - it’s common to feel the impacts of rushing much more. As HSP, we are not only sensitive to stimulation (think sounds, smells, images, etc.) but we also process stimulation deeper than others. If you’re interested in reading more about the connection between rushing, being too busy and being a HSP, I found this article to explain it pretty well. As I’ve become more aware of my felt experience, it’s been interesting to see the impact over-committing myself has on my nervous system. I legitimately feel my body seizing up when I have too many things on my plate. So long are the days of back-to-back social plans lol - I am at like 1 or 2 social plans a week MAX right now. Can anyone else relate? Anyway I share this because while many people take time off during the holidays, there is a certain frenetic and rush-y energy about the holidays - whether it’s last minute shopping or squeezing in as many socials as humanly possible, and it’s important to be aware of how this might impact our nervous system. The power of ritual On Monday evening I had my last class in the Expressive Arts Therapy program I was taking called the Art of Trauma. For those of you interested in expressive arts therapy, I’ve been studying with the Create Institute. In our final week together we explored the power of ritual in therapeutic group sessions. I’ve personally been fascinated with exploring ritual for some time now, however it was during the pandemic where I really began to see the power of ritual in helping me manage pretty crippling anxiety; having something to look forward to every day created a sense of structure and familiarity, which helped signal safety to my nervous system. What is a ritual? A ritual is a set sequence of activities involving gestures, words, actions, or objects, performed in a place and embedded with an intention. IMHO rituals are routines with intention. I’ve experimented quite a bit to find a morning ritual that works best for me and it goes something like this: Saying good morning to my fur children and giving them some head pats and a treat Reflective journaling Silent meditation (at least 5 minutes) Energy routine by Donna Eden Warm lemon water Yin or slow yoga sequence Speak my intention for the day and seal with essential oil over my heart
Note: While this might sound intense, it’s not perfect every day. Some days are a bit more compressed than others but I do my best to make sure I am connecting with myself first in the morning before I engage with the rest of the world. And yes, this is easier because I live alone, but I encourage anyone to find ways to get creative with this. It’s all about finding ways to connect with yourself, and this could be as simple as taking some intentional breaths before you get out of bed. Sharing: IRL creative experience @ Gladstone House Finally, I am thrilled to share with y’all first that I will be facilitating an intimate (phone-free) IRL creative experience on Sunday, January 9 in partnership with the Gladstone House (formerly Gladstone Hotel) in Toronto. The scoop: I’ll be taking you on a 2.5 creative journey where you’ll leave with an expression board for 2022. What the heck is an expression board?! You might be familiar with vision boards - a visual representation of what you want to achieve; things like goals i.e. more money, a new job, a new house, etc. And an expression board is my lil personal twist on it. Through my studies and personal work in trauma and expressive arts therapy, I’ve become aware of the power of being more in tune with how I am feeling (vs. what I need to do/achieve) - and this shift has been truly transformational. It’s helped me become much more connected to myself and become a much happier and fulfilled human. So, in this creative experience, we’ll be reflecting on and creating boards (using mixed media) that express how we want to feel in 2022. Full details to come later this week on social media, but if you’re interested, hit reply and I’ll personally send you more details + a registration link as soon as they become available :) Much love, B P.S. I would love to hear from you.
If you’d like to connect outside of this space, you can find me here and here.
Finally, if you want to help support my journey, I’d love for you to share this newsletter with someone you think might benefit from it <3
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